I accidentally burped into my bong.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
