he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
