The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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