I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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