No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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