Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
