I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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