If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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