I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
