Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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