I have demons in me.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
