Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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