Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
