Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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