if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
