some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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