I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize