so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
