If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
