Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
