I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
