and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize