I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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