Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
