you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
