I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Randomize
