Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
