I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We don't watch enough power rangers
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
