Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize