I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
