Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
