STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
