It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
