I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
