Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
