I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
