I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
