We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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