Already got asked if we're dating
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
