My brain says no but my pants say off.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
