i need an iv and a liver transplant
he fucked my hip out of place.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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