i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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