Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
