I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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