I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
birth control should be required to get into college
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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