I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
