how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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