I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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