you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
