i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize