Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
