id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
