Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
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If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
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I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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