I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
