we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
