I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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