I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
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You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
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cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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