he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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