check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
