First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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