so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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