I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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