Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
