If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize