I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
