To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
