so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
