I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
