sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
