She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
