thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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